Words of encouragement is my love language but not Mark’s. I absolutely love it when Mark compliments me. In fact, I NEED him to compliment me! Sometimes I forget, though, that he also needs affirmation from me even if it’s not his love language. We all need some level of affirmation, and there are things to tell your husband to help him feel loved. Husbands and wives both need verbal love from their spouse, and I’m working on doing a better job of letting Mark know how much I respect and appreciate him.
As terrible as it sounds, I had to give it some thought as to how to make sure the affirmation I gave him packed some punch. When Mark and I were writing a “his and hers” set of books for husbands and wives, I found a blog on Mark’s site that he had written about what husbands want to hear from their wives.
Scary! Do you think he was trying to give me a hint? I was afraid to ask! But I am going to take him at his word and try these 7 things wives should tell their husbands on him…we will see if he notices 🙂
1. “I love being your wife.”
As simple as it sounds, husbands want to know that their wives are content in their marriage and truly enjoy just being with them. When is the last time you thanked your husband for marrying you? Don’t just assume he knows you still love being with him. Tell him!
2. “I’m really attracted to you.”
It’s a myth that women are always more looks-conscious than men. As guys’ hairlines begin to recede and stomachs start protruding, they can become very sensitive about their appearance. Never joke about how your husband looks. Tell him he’s hot and how attracted you are to him.
3. “I really respect the decision you made.”
No surprise here. Mark, is big on being respected, especially by me. When a man makes a decision, especially a tough one, he doesn’t want his wife being critical of it. He wants to know that his wife is behind him and admires his ability to make good decisions. That’s not to say you shouldn’t share your thoughts with him, but also affirm his ability to make good decisions.
4. “I’m so grateful for your spiritual leadership.”
All of us are hardwired for a relationship with God, and many men want to be seen as the spiritual caretakers of their families. Encourage your husband in his faith and thank him for taking his role as a spiritual leader seriously.
5. “You are so wise.”
Many men are born problem solvers and relish the process of thinking through something and arriving at a solution. This, incidentally, is why your husband is always trying to “fix” your problems when all you want him to do is listen (which happens in our marriage all the time!). When that happens, your husband is expressing love to you by trying to help you. Express love to him in return by emphasizing to him that you trust his wise judgment.
6. “You’re an outstanding father.”
Deep in the heart of every man is the desire to be seen as a hero—especially to his children. Compliment your husband for being a good father. Specifically, tell him why he is your kids’ hero. And as soon as possible, maybe tonight at dinner, tell your children why he is so special.
7. “I appreciate how hard you work to provide for our family.”
There are many things in life that your husband cannot control, but one he can control is effort. It brings him great pleasure to work hard and see the results. To directly control and be the man responsible for creating something from nothing thrills him. Encourage his great work ethic and desire to provide for your family.
How do you let your husband know that you appreciate him? Let me know. There are some other really simple ways you can let your husband know in our new book Lists to Love By for Busy Wives.