Marriage

Recipe for a Great Marriage

Flour on my forehead and egg yolk on my elbow. A splash of milk on my cheek and a tiny bit of sugar on the tip of my nose. I don’t know about you, but this is what I sometimes look like when I cook. In the midst of craziness, I love learning what ingredients go well together, learning how much is too much, and even learning how to change a recipe up to suit my tastes. It can be messy, but it’s fun to experiment. In the same way, marriage takes lots of messy practice, patience, and perseverance. So, after 25 years of experience, here is my recipe for a great marriage.

1. Know the Ingredients that Work in Your Marriage

Every recipe and every marriage requires different ingredients. And knowing where to start means knowing your spouse. Know what makes him smile, know what sets him off. Know what most encourages him, and know what makes him insecure. Once you understand your spouse and his love language, you’ll be an expert at creating a great marriage.

2. Add Some Spice to Your Recipe for Marriage

People often think that being with one person their whole life will end up boring after a while, just like too much of one meal can become tasteless. But just a tiny pinch of spice can make all the difference! Adding some spice to your marriage can be as simple as planning a date night once a month together. Or surprising your spouse with a little romance after a long day at work. Or even leaving them a love note in the front seat of their car. Do something spontaneous and out of the ordinary to keep your marriage feeling spicy.

3. Don’t Stir Up Conflict in Your Marriage

If you’ve ever baked from scratch, you know that over-stirring a batter can make a cake tough. The same can be said for marriage. If you stir up conflict often enough, your marriage is going to get pretty tough. I found I have often overdramatized situations that, looking back, were not what my imagination made them out to be. I encourage you to be careful not to stir up conflict or drama into your marriage. When you need to communicate with your spouse, always assume the best and speak calmly and lovingly.

4. Sprinkle Compliments on Top

Your husband will never stop longing for affirmation. They want to be noticed, encouraged, thanked, and loved. So make him feel special with some extra sprinkles this week. Your marriage will be so much stronger when positive words are consistently exchanged between the two of you. Simply tell your spouse that you’re proud of them, that you’re so happy to be with them, or that they’re doing a great job parenting. A little sugary colored compliment on top is always a sweet finish!

5. Savor the Creation Together

Finally, I encourage you to enjoy what you’ve cooked up together! So often life gets cluttered with projects at work, running the kids from school to sports, or just keeping up with the laundry and housework and homework. But the most important part of a healthy marriage is being able to savor it with your spouse. Be sure to put your marriage above everything else, and make time to savor the love you share.

What is the secret ingredient that makes your marriage recipe a success?

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