My husband and I still fight – regularly. Not sure if you would consider it a lot because what is a lot? It’s hard to know if it is a lot or just normal, because my normal may not be your normal. And that’s OK, but some people have been led to think it’s not OK. So many people seem to be giving up on their marriage because they fight too much or have sex too little. How do they know it’s too much or too little?
I always want to ask but it’s kind of personal. Are they going by what they see on TV or read in magazines because somewhere I was taught you can’t always believe what you read or see on TV? Are they more open with their friends and they are taking polls to find out if they are normal?
My husband and I still fight about something at least once a week. And we still make love at least once a week. I guess that is our normal. We have tried to work on both, fighting less and making love more. We still hover around once a week for both – back to my normal. I did ask one friend. She said they fight less than once a month and they make love about once a month. That’s her normal.
I guess I just want more moms to be comfortable with their normal, not mine, not TV’s. It might create less stress on their marriage, less of a search for something that may not be what they need to be searching for. What I am trying to say points back to being content with what we have – thankful for each other. It doesn’t mean you don’t strive to improve, but you don’t beat yourself up or end the marriage if you don’t.
Of course, there will always be some friction. My husband will always want to make love more and I will always want to fight less. He’s physical and I’m relational. It’s our normal. What is yours?