Sometimes or most times the best plans are the simplest. Right now my kitchen plans are way too complicated. The myriad combinations of cabinets, colors and contraptions have culminated into a mass of cancerous confusion in my brain.
Should I get the GE Monogram 48 inch refrigerator with the Wolf 48 inch range? Or the range top with the double wall ovens? But if I don’t get the Wolf Sub Zero refrigerator with the Wolf range or range top I don’t get the $2000 rebate they’re offering. But the Sub Zero is so expensive and only 36 inches. If I go with Jenn Air they will throw in a free dishwasher! I like their refrigerator but not their range…
Parenting can be the same especially if you have multiple children. The myriad combinations of their diverse personalities, shifting stages, ages and gender can complicate and overwhelm a poor woman’s brain.
Should I let (daughter)(have to delete names to protect the innocent) go with her friend to the beach for the weekend even though it’s Nonny’s birthday? Where should I send (son) to school. If I keep him where he is it is free, but he really needs more than he is getting. Can I afford the school I really want to send him to? I really know something is not right with (other daughter). Should I try another Doctor? Of course the Doctor I really want to see is not on my plan. What about (another other daughter)? I have tried every way I know how to teach her this lesson and she is still not getting it. There has got to be some creative consequence I can give that will get through to her. Should I let (other son) play lacrosse? All of his friends are, but that is another sport, another expense and a huge time commitment. Ah, time. My husband (only one – thank God) is not happy with the lack of time I have for him…
Parenting is complicated.
I don’t have a solution for the kitchen and if you do I wish you would share it. However, this simple filter for parenting decisions has helped me immensely. Whenever the kids approach me with something I filter it through this simple assessment – God, Family, School, Extra-Curricular Activities, Friends. This is the hierarchy of our priorities. God is first, Family is second, School is third and so on.
Here is an example. If Megan comes to me with a social request (butterfly that she is) I ask her the following…
- God – Does it conflict with your commitment to God (like missing church, etc)? Or have you been giving God the attention He deserves as your number one priority?
- Family – Does it conflict with family time OR (especially in her case) have their been so many social engagements that you are never home with your family?
- School – School is her job. Does the request conflict with homework or studying? Are you taking care of your job at school so well that you can afford to go out?
- Extra-Curricular Activities – These are a commitment. Does it conflict with any team practices or lessons we are paying for?
- Friends – In this example my only questions would be (if she passed all of the above priorities) is this request leaving someone out? Or (and this is great when they get older and want to spend too much time with a boyfriend or girlfriend) are you spending all of your free time with just one person and forgetting to invest in your other friendships?
