So your son grew up playing baseball. He joined the team with his neighborhood friends and enjoyed playing catch, hitting the ball, and of course sliding into home base. But as he got older, little league turned into travel ball and things just weren’t the same. Things got harder as the competition and the pressure increased.
When the going gets tough in sports, how do we keep our kids going strong? It’s not easy. Sports are not just for fun anymore. In fact, by the time a child is about 10 there is a good chance that he/she is on a team that is getting competitive. Yet, kids want to play. They want to be with their friends. So what do you do to keep them from burning out and giving up?
Well as your child moves from playing for fun to playing competitively, here are 3 ways to help them along:
1. Remind them of their original love for the sport.
Pressure to perform perfectly. Pressure to always do things better than before. Pressure to win. When the pressure becomes overwhelming—and trust me, it will!—the best thing to do is have your child take a step back and remember why they fell in love with the sport in the first place. Remind them how incredible it felt to hear the swoosh of the net as the basketball went through, remind them how they loved getting their uniform covered in clay sliding into home base, and remind them what it was like to finally reach the finish line on the track. If they remember their first love for the game, they may find their way back to enjoying it.
2. Focus on their strengths.
The bottom line is this: not every child can be athletically gifted. Not every little boy is going to grow up to be Peyton Manning and not every little girl is going to grow up to be Mia Hamm. When they figure out that they lack the magic don’t let them focus on their weaknesses, teach them to focus on their strengths. It takes time and maturity to learn to balance expectations and reality. Sometimes that means just celebrating making the team! When my daughter, Megan, was in high school she was a good swimmer but didn’t have a competitive bone in her body. She was a model member of the team–always on time, always helping, always respectful and very well liked. Her senior year she got the surprise of her swimming career. The coach chose her as one of the captains–not because of her swim times but because of her work ethic and devotion to helping others swimmers. She was a stronger leader than she was a swimmer.
3. Encourage them to pursue other talents.
My daughter, Emily, was a great swimmer and tough on the basketball court. But we could not keep her focused. She would be bored with a sport half-way through every season. Right about the age where she really needed to buckle down and focus so that she could advance to the next level we made a little discovery by accident. Emily had an artistic side. She was chosen for a singing role at school. From then on singing, dance and theater became a passion that we never had to force her to practice. If your child simply isn’t enjoying or excelling in sports, don’t be afraid to let them start over in something new and find another passion to pursue.
There are other ways sports can be tough. The time away from the family is tough issue to balance. Difficult coaches is another. What struggles have made sports tough for your kids?
