I love Facebook, I really do. It’s great for keeping up with my friends; it’s great for getting a heads up about special deals, and it’s great for getting to know our Facebook friends of iMOM and Susanme. However, there is one big thing that Facebook is not so great for – marriages. In fact, Facebook is cited as the major source of evidence in many divorce proceedings. So if you’re married and you’re on Facebook, there are some things you…
Years ago, before marrying Mark, I visited an older friend who had a great relationship with her husband. Since I hoped to get married myself one day, I asked her advice on how to have a great marriage. I waited expectantly for her to utter what I was sure would be some deep and profound words of wisdom. She smiled at me and said, “Assume the best.” “Assume the best?” I thought. “Why is that such a big deal?” Little…
Mark and I are no strangers to conflict. We are both passionate and that fact shows up often in our communication style. While I’m always up for a debate, constant conflict in marriage can put an unwelcome strain on a marriage. Lasting conflict in marriage is a dangerous path that no couple should go down. To avoid this path, Mark and I acknowledge our trigger points when they show up. Doing this helps us know to slow down and find ways…
My husband, Mark, often describes himself as a porcupine because as he says, “he can get a little prickly.” The reality is we all have porcupine moments in our relationships and especially in marriage. Acknowledging that you can be difficult and identifying what triggers the prickly spouse within is the path to a more harmonious marriage! Acknowledge that you might be a porcupine… Porcupines have sharp quills on its back, sides, and tail, but its belly is tender and vulnerable.…
Have you ever thought that love and hate are two sides of the same coin? I might have at one time, but marriage has taught me a lot about love. Hate is not the opposite of love, selfishness is the opposite of love. And selfishness is killing marriages. It is the root cause of many marriage problems–problems that are ending in divorce. A decade ago the number one cause for divorce was financial problems. Today it is irreconcilable differences. That…
At some point in your wedding ceremony you probably committed to take your husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse. I know I did. But I really didn’t think about what it meant. Twenty eight years later, for better and for worse has deep meaning. Our daughter, Megan, got married a year ago. The ceremony was beautiful and Megan’s happiness in those months up to the wedding brought back memories of my wedding…
You and your spouse are allies—not enemies. Did you get that? You may be thinking: well, of course, we aren’t enemies! But you’d be surprised. I remember when my sister and I were young and we were sharing a room. Technically, we shared a room, but we did not want to share the same ‘space’, so we took tape and put it down the middle of the room so as to deter one another from going into the other’s space.…