encouraging your spouse to cheat
Marriage

Are You Encouraging Your Spouse to Cheat?

Last month, countless lives were turned upside down when hackers posted the personal information of an alleged 32 million users of Ashley Madison, an online service that promotes and facilitates adultery. The website’s slogan reads, “Life is short. Have an affair.”

The site claimed to have 39 million members and much was discussed in the news about the men who were found on the list. But I also couldn’t help wondering, who are the women having affairs with these men?  What would lead so many people, men and women, to so actively seek an affair? Why are we more prone than ever before to wander in our marriages to the point that we actively seek ways to secretly cheat?

One potential problem area in our marriage is not listening. I have been told that I like to talk, and maybe I have been blessed (ahem)  with the gift of gab. And since my husband also has that gift, we tend to interrupt each other frequently and sometimes struggle to truly listen to what the other person is saying because we’re thinking about what we want to say next. Unfortunately, that can lead to both of us feeling like the other person doesn’t care about our thoughts. If we aren’t careful, it can cause a rift in our relationship. A rift that leaves us with needs unmet, feelings hurt and hearts hardened. And that can lead to turning to other people who are more likely to hear us out and make us feel like our opinions matter.

Any of the 7 things we discuss in this podcast could damage a marriage, even if not to the point of pushing a spouse toward an affair. At the risk of sounding like I am stating the obvious, strong marriages are far less prone to affairs than marriages that have been weakened by things like lack of attention, withholding of physical affection, or constant criticism. Making an effort to avoid those behaviors and others will strengthen your relationship with your spouse.

I don’t have all of the answers, nor do I intend to excuse anyone who chooses to cheat on their spouse. Having an affair is always and completely unjustifiable. But in this podcast, Mark and I share 7 ways a person could inadvertently encourage their husband or wife to cheat

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