how to listen
Marriage Podcast

Why Spouses Don’t Listen and What You Can Do About It

Are you a good listener? If so, I applaud you. I have to admit that the skill of listening well does not come naturally to me. I’m a gifted talker! I enjoy sharing what’s on my heart and speaking what’s on my mind, which has its place, but listening? That can be hard for me.

We all know that communication is absolutely critical in the marriage relationship. Without effective communication, marriages can quickly tear apart. My very talkative husband and I have had to work on this a lot over the years. We both have so many important things to say, especially in emotional or heated moments, and we can forget that listening is a necessary component of communication

Here’s my problem: Mark is ridiculously smart, and he’s awesome at speaking logically and persuasively. Guess that’s what I should have expected when I married a lawyer! Sometimes, I feel like I need a little extra time to figure out how to make my point of view sound just as compelling as his, so I stop listening to what he’s saying and focus on what I want to say next to counter his point. When I do that, I may miss out on hearing his heart. 

Listening isn’t just about using your ears, though. Of course, your ears are a part of listening, but in this podcast, Mark and I share 5 keys to effective listening that will help you understand why listening is so important. Apply the keys to your own marriage communication. Find out why spouses don’t listen and how to listen better in your marriage.

5 Keys to Effective Listening in Marriage

  1. Listen with your Ears. Make sure to stop whatever you are doing and listen intently on just your spouse.
  2. Listen with your Eyes. When you don’t look up at your spouse when they are speaking, it tells them that they aren’t your top priority. {Tweet This
  3. Listen with your Mind. Using your mind to process what your spouse says in regards to context helps to ponder more deeply your spouse’s words and the meaning behind them.
  4. Listen with your Mouth. Developing the speaker-listener communication method in your marriage means you repeat back what you heard. Ask questions to give your spouse more freedom to talk.
  5. Listen with your Heart. God speaks to you when you spend quiet time with Him. Ponder what you need to hear from your spouse. Use your heart to sympathize and empathize with your spouse.

Hear the full podcast and start truly listening to your spouse today.

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