friendships are important
Encouragement

When You Can’t Live Without Friends

There are times in a mom’s life when she simply cannot live without friends.  I have been through one of those times.

Years after I received my first pacemaker at seventeen, it gave out.  I had three small children ages 5, 3 and 1.  New doctors did new tests and gave me a new diagnosis.  They felt that I probably didn’t need a pacemaker.  They put me on steroids instead.  I was not the same person.  After a year, I had an appointment with my old doctor in Houston for a second opinion.  We flew in for the appointment, but when we got there we had to see his partner instead due to an emergency.  The partner was rather rushed and told us that if the steroids weren’t working don’t take them.  Period.  So I stopped.  I didn’t know any better.  I didn’t even really know that what I was on was a true steroid.

It took six days before I felt the effects of not slowly weaning off the steroid.  I became really sick.  The combination of complications from coming off the steroid and trying to keep my heart beating regularly were debilitating.  My children were 6, 4 and 2 years old.  Every day I would wake up and think I can do this, I can will my body to do this.  I will eat simply, I will pace myself, I will pray, it will be better today.  It wasn’t, some days would be a little better but most weren’t.  I was failing my husband, my children, and myself.

My relationships during that year saved me.  My husband fought for me.  He dragged me back to the doctors.  He clearly focused on the goal never losing site that I was fine with a pacemaker and I was not without it.  He searched for a doctor that would listen and he found one.  My friends met a million needs.  They drove my two girls to school; they took them to ballet and parties and for play dates.  They encouraged me by saying it was nothing, my girls were a pleasure—I never had to ask my friends.  They always thought of my girls, talked amongst themselves and made sure that someone had my girls covered for everything.  My community—church and school moms fed my family for a year.  I am not exaggerating.  My dad and stepmother would come often to help.  My dad, who loves to eat, was amazed at the number of meals that appeared on my doorstep every time he was there, even after months of meals.

There were many profound faith-building moments in that year.  I visibly saw God use other people to meet my needs when I couldn’t meet them myself.  Sometimes God used people I barely knew.  It was so humbling and amazing.  It was even miraculous.  I could not control my health, my days, my home, but God could and he used people to do it.  People are an investment with a huge return. There may come a day when the people you have relationships with will save your life or the life of your child.  Or, you may have the opportunity to serve them in a way that is lifesaving to them.

Confession:  This post is an excerpt from The Passionate Mom (releasing April 2013) I have said it before but this book was more for me than anyone else.  I fought tears of conviction as I wrote this.  I have not been a good friend lately.  I have been too busy.  No excuses.  Relationships come first.  Always.  I know this.  In my final minutes of life I will NOT be thinking of my house.  My mind will flash, with a pang to my heart, to the people I love—not the stuff.  

Blog posting is scary accountability but accountability is good for me.  So just keep me accountable–I am resolving to grow my friendships.

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email