It is a mystery to some and as easy as breathing to others. It can be a life long struggle or life saving comfort. My experience with the illusive quiet time has been…a rocky road. In the beginning I spent several years grappling with a nagging feeling that I just wasn’t quite doing it right. I was inconsistent in my timing, unsure of my content and often discouraged. I couldn’t find the peace and love for it that so many of my more mature acquaintances boasted about.
The overachiever in me was frustrated. The overachiever in me was the problem. I wanted it to be this poetic, beautiful, creative experience with God every single day. But, I have children. Multiple children. I was often interrupted, often tired, often unfocused. I was told to choose a chair in my living room and picture God waiting for me there every day like a sweet friend and to imagine how disappointed He would be if I did not sit down with Him to visit. I chose the chair but my children were so little that quality time and consistency in the chair were illusive. And the guilt of the empty chair only discouraged me more.
I limped along in this process never quite feeling like I had mastered what I desired – the perfect quiet time – until about seven years ago. Have you ever read Uncle Tom’s Cabin? There are many intriguing characters in the book representing every walk of faith. I was desperately wanting to be the pious and controlled Miss Ophelia with a rigid schedule under tight control. I had to let her go and embrace the notion that I needed a system like Uncle Tom. He was a slave and because of that his time was rarely his own. The rhythm of his life drastically changed with the changing of his masters the way mine changes with the growth stages of my children. God went with him each and every time. His quiet time was not always quiet, or pretty, or long. He was often bone weary and his ability to read was so inadequate and laborious that he covered just a few verses in his Bible.
Uncle Tom met the Lord whenever and wherever he could – and so can I. So many of my quiet times have been in my car, after car pool on some random residential street where I pulled over on my way to work, or at a park in between errands on a Saturday while my husband watched the kids, or in the parking lot in front of the field where my son was practicing football. Sometimes my quiet time is quiet and pretty (this is the sunrise that unfolded during my quiet time today) and long and in the chair. Some days it is not. It no longer bothers me because, like Uncle Tom, my Bible is in my pocket at all times, it is downloaded in my iPhone and it is with me everywhere. I will find time to read, pray and ponder every day and most days more than once.
I am no longer dependent on the perfection of the situation to quiet my thoughts and focus my heart and mind. I am content to be faithful every day and God is faithful to meet me no matter where I am.
