Tantrum Tactics
Parenting

Tantrum Tactics

 

I learned early on in my childhood that tantrums never got me what I wanted.

Growing up, I remember the time my mom took us kids to the grocery store with her to pick a few things up.  Halfway down the first aisle, my 4 year old brother began to pitch a fit over wanting a box of cereal that we didn’t need.  Well as soon as my mom said no, he started crying and screaming at the top of his little lungs.

To say the least, my 3 other siblings and I were absolutely mortified, and immediately ran off to another aisle to act like we had no idea who that obnoxious child was!  What I remember most wasn’t the sound of his screams echoing across the entire grocery store or even the way my cheeks were bright pink.  No, what I remember most was the way my mom kept right on shopping—as if she had a pair of invisible earplugs in and didn’t have a care in the world.  She taught me the best remedy for dealing with tantrums is to ignore it.

With that, here are 3 helpful tips for the next time your child has a meltdown

1. Ignore, don’t Ignite.

Years ago, my twelve year old daughter threw a tantrum over not being able to go out with friends one weekend.  As soon as she realized she wasn’t getting her way, she dropped to the ground sobbing and acting like she was going to hyperventilate.  Unfazed, I continued with whatever I had been working on.  Finally, she looked up dramatically and said, “You’re such a mean mom.”  With this, she stormed up the stairs and slammed the door.  But never again did my sweet girl try the tantrum tactic because she realized right away that it simply wouldn’t work.

Your child will be quick to latch onto any reaction from you as encouragement to continue throwing a tantrum.  So stand your ground by ignoring dramatic behavior, instead of igniting it.

2. Address, don’t Avoid.

Once your child has calmed down, you’ll have the chance to address the situation rationally.  This is the time to examine your child’s heart and get to the root of the issue.  To help you go deeper with your child, try asking…

  • “What’s driving you to want to go out with friends/take the car this weekend/skip your baseball practice?”
  • “Why do you feel so passionate about this issue?”
  • “Are your struggling with peer pressure?  Insecurity?  Discontentment? A lack of respect?”

3. Solve, don’t Skip.

Luckily, the story doesn’t end with just finding the root of the issue.  It has to be SOLVED!—a step that can’t be skipped.  Solving the problem could mean teaching them about the dangers of peer pressure, or building confidence in them so they aren’t driven by insecurities in the future.  Whatever it may be, make sure that you explain to your kids that there is a better way to express themselves and demonstrate what they’re feeling.

So which of your kids would win the “Most Dramatic” Award?  I’d love for you to share the funniest meltdown moment your kids have had!   

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