Expectations.
They can disappoint, discourage and totally deflate a mom. Here is my theory about why we are at a disadvantage when we attach ourself to expectations.
- Expectations are not well thought out and therefore often unrealistic.
- Expectations do not provide for unforeseen circumstances.
- Expectations are based on our control but we are not in control.
- Expectations most often err on the side of being to high.
I err. Often.
I expected too much.
To convince you of my guilt I would like to present several exhibits.
Exhibit #1 is my youngest child. He was adopted at the age of nine. Despite all of the warnings I received about the number of years it would take to recover the first nine years of neglect, I had expectations that I could do whatever needed to be done. Nine years later and I am still not done!
Exhibit #2 is one of my middle children. She was diagnosed with Addison’s Disease. Despite all of the medical advice I received, I expected that if we were diligent with vitamins and medicine she could maintain her current level of over-achievement in school. Four exhausting years later she scaled back her commitments and found a far better, more enjoyable pace for her academic pursuits.
Exhibit #3 is another one of my middle children. He is by far my easiest child. He was compliant and obedient for sixteen years. I expected that he would be so forever. I was totally blind-sided when compliance turned to defiance. Two years of tears later and both of us have adjusted our expectations for the better.
I err. With expectations of perfection.
But my very human children were born to very human, imperfect parents.
I expected too much.
No more. God has shown me the imperfection of my ways.
And I expect to find more joy in parenting.
