Susan Merrill

We discovered our daughter’s illness the summer of her 16^th year.  Looking back,  the warning signs had been there for probably three or four months;  I just didn’t put it all together.  She was tired so much of that last quarter of school, but I thought it was just too much going on.  She was moody, but I rationalized that she was just being a girl.  The symptom that did it was the tan.  Emily, in princess terms, was our Snow White – dark hair, white skin.  She didn’t like her inability to tan like her siblings, so as we began to go to the lake and she grew brown, she was elated.  She commented on it multiple times to me.   Again, I discounted it, thinking she must be in some strange puberty thing.

But the tan stuck.  I remember her sitting on my lap and trying to take my wedding ring off so she could try it on.  My attention was focused on her hands as I was resisting giving up my ring.  Her fingers were so tan they just didn’t look like hers.  It is funny how you know your child.  This is not right, I thought.

I made a doctor’s appointment – a month out, of course, as it was considered a well visit.  She didn’t make it a month.  Two weeks later she came down with a bug so fast we got her right in.  I love our pediatrician, he never laughs at me.  I pointed out the nagging tan and told him I had Googled it.  The only illness that sounded credible to me was Addison’s disease.  He didn’t discount me although he warned that it was very rare.  He agreed the tan was unusual and took some blood for testing.  Two days later he ordered her to the hospital for immediate medication.

I think Denise (see video below) describes what I felt exactly.  When you discover your child has a life- threatening illness you grieve for the loss of the life you envisioned for your child.  Knowing they will be bound to a schedule of medication, a body that responds differently to life, and a more high risk future is painful to take in.  After a time, a long time, over a year, actually, my pain eased as I witnessed my amazing child cope and develop a discipline I never imagined possible.

I have three daughters and all of them have, at times, been disappointed in their appearance. It always makes me sad. Today I read about a new danger on the web—anorexia support websites. These sites are not communities supporting recovery…they are communities of girls encouraging each other in the pursuit of thinness. Their comments made me very sad. They are so unhappy with the way they look.

The article stated that the number-one recommended therapy for anorexic girls was family based therapy. I would surmise then, that the number-one way to keep your daughter from dangerously obsessing with her looks starts with you!

Share with your daughter how beautiful she is! Here are some of my favorite videos that you can watch with her. The last one is a little graphic, so watch it yourself before you show your daughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U&feature=player_detailpage