Parenting

8 Things a Mom Should Teach Her Daughter to Look for in a Boy

Every young girl dreams of a fairy-tale romance.  So what kind of prince should I be teaching my daughters to look for?

Look for a Gentleman. 

A young man should open the door for you, stand when you sit at a table, and carry heavy bags for you.  Polite gestures like these reflect an inner dignity you’ll want in a husband.

Look for Honor. 

Be sure to observe the way a young man treats his parents.  He should always honor them not because of their performance, but because of their position as his mother and father.

Look for Respect. 

You deserve a young man who will treasure you enough to respect your body as belonging to your future husband alone.  He should also know how to respect that your emotions and feelings are special, not things to be played with.

Look for Integrity. 

Look for a young man who lives out his morals daily, not just when you are around.  You want someone who will have actions that reflect his words.

Look for Responsibility. 

Don’t expect perfection from the man you’re going to marry.  But DO expect him to own up and apologize right away when he makes a mistake.

Look for Hard Work. 

Find someone who will work hard to provide for you and your children.  Because we were all created to work, it’s important for a man to strive to work hard and avoid lazy tendencies.

Look for Love. 

You won’t always “feel” in love.  So be sure to wait for a man who will not only make you feel loved, but also show you his love through his actions and words.

Look for Faith. 

Don’t settle for anyone until you see that they love God more than anyone or anything else.  You want a man who will lead you and your family spiritually, so find someone who is rooted in their faith in God.

Do you have a son?  Here are 8 Things a Mom Should Teach Her Son to Look for in a Girl.

I’m sure there’s more, what would YOU add to this list?

 

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  • Look for kindness… 🙂

  • Gale Neal

    This is a good list! I don’t if this might fit into one of your categories listed here – but I have always heard that it is important to make sure a man has long-term relationships with friends.

    • I think that it is a good one. You can tell a lot by a person from their companions.

  • HI, Susan! Great list. As I was reading it, my eyes teared up because I’m working on teaching my son to BE this kind of boy. Of course, I want my daughter to find this kind of boy…but it was encouraging to me to view this list from the perspective of a mom to a teenage boy.

    I would add to look for a boy who appreciates your gifts – who doesn’t try to change you but encourages you to be your very best self. Who believes in you even when you don’t believe in yourself.

    I pray that there are still young ladies out there who appreciate a young man who possesses these qualities. Thank you for sharing them!

    • Looking for a boy who appreciates you gifts is a great one. No one has more opportunity to encourage you than your spouse. I love it and will definitely share that with my daughters.

  • AB

    Very sweet article, but I have to disagree with part of #3 – a woman’s body doesn’t “belong” to her future husband, it belongs to her.

    • Fr.Ed Wade,CC

      Not really AB, It belongs to God because He gave it to you and one day He is going to take it back when you die

    • jyssica

      Agreed, AB. I woman’s body is her own and she doesn’t “owe” it to anyone, husband or not.

      Also, in regards to Fr.Ed below, I don’t agree with it belonging to G-d, either. G-d gave us our SOULS, our body is supposedly just the shell we keep the souls in, and the souls are what move on after death, not the body.

      If you believe that kind of stuff, anyway.

    • Bible=Truth

      AB I don’t know about you and other readers, but I look to the Bible as the ultimate source of truth and it says: (1 Corinthians 7:4) The wife doesn’t have power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise the husband doesn’t have power over his body, but the wife.
      It isn’t always lived out that way, but that is how it should be. 🙂
      And as far as our bodies belonging to God; if we have the Spirit of God in us as followers of Christ, our bodies do belong to God according to 1 Corinthians 6:19. God bless!

  • I like this list. So many of these traits are traits that are missing in today’s men mostly because women no longer expect/demand these. If I ever have a daughter, these things are going to be on my list of things she should know. Hopefully, I won’t even have to teach them to her because she will see these traits evident in her own father.

    • Nicole that is awesome and the best of all ways for a daughter to learn is from her father!

  • What a great post! That #2 is key and so many don’t understand how important that one is so I’m happy you included it.

  • Father Ed Wade,CC

    Way to go Susan! Excellent and practical…. I would also call it holy

    Fr.Ed Wade,CC

  • jyssica

    Honor is a separate thing from respecting your parents. Honestly, some parents don’t treat their kids well and are not deserving of respect. However, there are a million other ways to show you are honorable: the way you act with children, pets, how you treat the homeless and less fortunate. This is a nice list, but I truly do not believe that respecting your parents is the only indication of an honorable person, or that someone who does NOT respect his parents (if for a legitimate reason) is not honorable.

  • Julie Loos

    Couldn’t get the link for the list for boys to open. Please repost.

    • Hi Julie… so sorry about that. The link has been fixed. Thank you so much for letting us know!

  • Keeli

    You’ve made some good points here, but there’s a problem with number 3. A wife’s body doesn’t belong to her husband. A person’s body belongs to herself or himself. I think the general sentiment behind number 3 is to look for a man who understands that sex is designed for marriage and that man who respects a woman will not pressure her to have sex.

    • brizeka

      ! Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband. And in like manner the husband also hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

  • Ben

    Seeing #8 made me realise how false this is. I do the other 7, my sister does too – but no parent should teach their daughter to have faith of someone that doesn’t exist, nor “have” to have a guy who believes it too just because the mother/daughter doesn’t like it. It’s unnecessary control and really annoys me when people try to spread their religion in any way possible…
    “Ooooh he’s so perfect, does all those 7 things, doesn’t cheat with anyone… But I’ll dump him because he doesn’t believe in god.” It’s a situation I’ve had to go through so many times, and it breaks mine and probably other guy’s hearts too!

    #8 should be removed in my opinion, or be changed to it’s own category as a “shouldn’t”. An actual couple wouldn’t care about their different religion beliefs and those parents should accept that they are who they are, and be happy that they do the other 7 things, which are much more important! A guy/girl could be a Christian who kills others but it’s not going to help them find “the right guy” is it? In fact it’s gonna make it worse!

    To conclude, there are much better things to look for in a guy/girl. Someone who owns a bible isn’t going to change them or make them a better or a worse person; yet one of the rules is about respect… Funny how this article doesn’t say to “respect” one’s faith… -_-

    Oh, and no woman should be “belonged” to their husband like it’s some unconditional love. If the woman doesn’t feel like they belong or want to be there, just leave! You’re wasting your time, Christianity may say that men have the full control but stand up to yourself, become stronger and give yourself some rights and equality! Have think about that. 😀

    • Tracy

      If your daughter believes in God then this IS a very important trait to look for in a spouse. If you believe and love God and tour spouse doesn’t then it is very possible that your daughter will turn away from God or that it will become a source of friction and divorce would be a high posssiblity. Most parents don’t want to see either for their children.

  • that guy

    that last point is stupid. seriously, if you don’t want your daughter to be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you, you need to get your head checked because this isn’t your 20th century bullshit this is the 21st.

  • Carole Vail

    …and look for intelligence. Nothing is more sexy.