Susan Merrill

When Someone Asks Her Out on A Date

It was Friday night, football game.  There was a big game that night.  I arrived a little late so my daughter went ahead of me.  As I round the corner of the concession stand, a group of my friends animatedly grab me and say, ” Susan, where’s _____ (insert name of any of my daughters because I can’t tell everything!)?”

I say, “Well, she’s somewhere here.”

They say, “So and so, brought her son to the game and he is asking her to homecoming.  Where is she?”

Well my first thought was, “Oh my goodness.  She is going to die.”  My daughter is a cautious type that really does not like to be the center of attention.  At this point she was only two months into her freshman year of high school and not at all comfortable with the big new world of high school.   While most girls would probably like an audience of thousands when asked to a big dance, my daughter is a little more private.

Knowing she would be uncomfortable I immediately texted “where are you???  She was hiding up in the stands and, yes, the young man had popped the question.

Well she said yes (with all her friends watching), then promptly ran.  And in this case, because we love this young man and his family, her instinctive response was great— but it was a big eye opener to me.  I had failed to teach her what to say when someone asks her out on a date.

What we role played after that is this answer:

“That sounds like a lot of fun. Can I let you know tomorrow when I’m home? I need to check in with my parents and my calendar.”

This answer keeps us in the decision making process and takes her out of making a decision under pressure.

Are you too busy (or maybe too important) to play?

I confess I have been too busy.  I am not alone, I see it everywhere.  Quiz yourself…

When you take your kids to the playground do you sit on a bench and talk on the cell?  When was the last time you remember playing a game with your child?  What do you do when they watch TV or play video games?  When your older child wants to run to the store for something do you offer to go with them (rejected my daughter’s invitation yesterday, regretted it within hours.  She got into a fender bender in the mall parking lot)?

I have noticed I am increasingly more absorbed in my Mac.  It is so hard not to love.  My Mac is to me what the newspaper or 6:00 news was to my parents— but oh so more convenient and interesting.  And if I don’t have my laptop my, phone is an adequate substitute.

Fortunately, neither the cell phone nor laptop was a distraction to me when my kids were really little – I didn’t own either.  I am concerned when I see little ones being ignored by moms on the phone – everywhere – at the store, in the car, at the playground, on a walk.  We used to talk and talk all through the grocery store my, little ones and I.   I think I am going to start timing myself on that laptop and put the phone away when my kids are home.

I am not so important that I need to read those emails, and I don’t want to be too busy to play.