Susan Merrill

Boys. You can talk, but they don’t always “get it.”  So when I saw this video, and then providentially had four boys at my house the next day, I couldn’t resist a teaching moment.  This is how it went…

“Hey guys, come in here I want you to see this YouTube!”  (No problem there… they love YouTube.)

“First, if you could name one college football player who could get any girl he wanted, who would it be?” (We live two hours from the University of Florida, so this was also a no brainer: Tim Tebow, of course!)

They watched this video and here are some of the questions I asked them afterward… along with a few answers:

Q:  “What do you think this girl’s life is like compared to Tim’s?” 

A:  “Tim’s worst day is a thousand times better than her best day…”  “He is healthy and strong, she has lost her health and is struggling…”  “People look at him with adoration, people look at her with pity…”  “He can go and do anything, she has to struggle with limitations…”  “He has a bright future, she may not live much longer.”

Q:  “How did they meet?” 

A:  “Tim noticed her in the crowd.  He may have also noticed many beautiful girls who were there to see him also…  but he CHOSE to talk to her.”

Q: “Who would you have given your attention to?  Should girls get attention just because they are ‘hot’ and will bring attention to you if you are with them?”

Q: “He must have talked with her a lot, because they became friends and then what did he do?”

A: “He chose to give her a gift that only he could give.  A day to remember, a day she could only dream of, a day when not one girl would look at her with pity but with envy.  She got to walk a red carpet as the date of the most sought-after athlete in the nation – Tim Tebow.”

Q: “How did he treat her? What was his attitude?”

A: “He was protective of her – escorting her as a gentleman, knowing it was difficult for her to walk.  He was not embarrassed, but proud and at ease to be with her.  He was affectionate and unconcerned about her stuttering.  He saw her as a lovely person, not as a handicapped girl who moved differently.”

Tim Tebow wasn’t thinking about himself – about how cool he needed to look at the ESPN college awards.  He was thinking of others, he was caring about others, he was using his platform of success as a way to bring joy to someone who could benefit from it deeply.

Q: “Do you look for opportunities to give to others, to make someone else’s day?  If you were Tim Tebow, would you have done what he did?”

Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.
                                                                                    – Ira Gassen

My son was only four at the time, a sweet little blonde-haired  boy.  He was so mature for his age.  He watched and listened a lot – not that he had a choice in the listening – he has two older sisters who didn’t give him much opportunity to talk.

It was four weeks before my sister’s wedding, and the dresses my girls were to wear in the wedding had just arrived in the mail.  There was much excitement – we were anxious to see them.  I went directly into task mode – let’s get them on, and assess for alterations, accessories and hair.  As the girls danced around, I assured them they looked beautiful and began to tick off my checklist of what needed to be hemmed, etc. – out loud.  Turning to Marky, I told him to go get his little velvet Christmas suit, which he would be wearing in the wedding, to make sure it still fit.  He reappeared moments later, having miraculously put it on all by himself. Unfortunately, that was lost on me as I began my assessment.  “Good…  it still fits.  You need shoes, and you definitely need a haircut.”

Having reminded myself about shoes, I turned to the girls’ closet and began to look for their dress shoes – I was done with Marky.  Not one word of praise.  My son disappeared. Five minutes later he was back, with an altered appearance he hoped would please me.  Did I mention he is a pleaser?  He had cut his hair. I still feel angst when I think of how I must have hurt his little feelings when I failed to notice how handsome he was.  All he heard was that he needed a haircut. I omitted the encouraging words and delivered the crushing words.

This is not the only time I have unintentionally crushed my child’s spirit.  I’m afraid my personality when in business mode is not very thoughtful, and my words reflect that.  Christmas is big busyness for me, as I have a large family who will congregate at my house for a week.  I am hoping and praying that in my desire to create a lovely, joyful family time, I won’t crush any spirits along the way.